recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
