You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
