hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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