seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
