Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
