I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you would pick up someone in the library
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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