i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i out mim tonsoeep
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