oh god the rape fog is back!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
