This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize