If that was your dad, he is hot
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Never underestimate the power of titties
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
