Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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