why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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