that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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