Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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