I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
