Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
did i just pee glitter
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