Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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