Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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