? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
