dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize