can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
