I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
