I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
