My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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