beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
