Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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