I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
