Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
