Betty ford says i'm here all night
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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