Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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