I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
All I want is dick and wine.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
