your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my phone needs a breathalizer
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
