Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
