Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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