Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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