make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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