Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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