I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
