I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
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Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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