I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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