yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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