No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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