Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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