come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
