Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
