some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
