Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
