What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
