i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
