Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
