So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
