just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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