I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
