i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
