Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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