why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
