I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
