Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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