Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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