oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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