she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
