Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
