is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
